7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
Sharpen The Saw
Four Needs
Spiritual
Emotional/Social
Mental
Physical
Continuous Improvement
Most people neglect this because it isn't urgent
Progressive overload
Focus on getting better forever
Synergize
How to Create Synergy
When there is a situation that requires synergy with someone else to get something done but you can't find a third picture evaluate how important it really is
Attempt to understand how conflict in your life is coming from a lack of synergy
Consider how differences between you and another person might reveal a third picture
What is Synergy?
When people don't have the same paradigm, values and beliefs and behaviors they can't accomplish much
When people have the same paradigm, values and beliefs and behaviours they can accomplish more together
The whole is greater than the sum of it's part; the relationship that the parts have together is in and of itself a part
The highest activity in all life - the true test and manifestation of all the other habits put together
Seek First to Understand
Then to Be Understood
Then to Be Understood
Communication is the most important skill in life and involves; speaking, writing, reading and listening
Think of the old lady and young lady picture.. until we both know what the other one is looking at we can't find that there is actually a third picture
Only once you truly understand where someone is coming from can you be truly understood
Seek First to Understand
Once you have taken the time to listen make sure the other person knows you've been listening (build their bank account)
Listen empathically and really make sure your understand the other person before responding
A lot of people only listen with the intent of responding with their paradigm
Most people listen autobiographically; listen to other people in order to relate it back to their experiences
Think Win Win
Key Ieas
Build up emotional bank accounts before doing the deal
Don't quit until Win/Win or No Deal
Don't compare yourself to others compare to yourslef
There is abundance in all things
Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Win/Win or No Deal
Win
Lose/Lose
Lose/Win
Win/Lose
Win/Win
Put First Things First
Time Management
Time cannot be managed we can only manage ourselves
Accept Personal Responsibility For Actions
Two Questions:
What one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar results?
What one thing could you do that if you did it on a regular basis would make a tremendous difference in your personal life?
Begin With The End in Mind
Why?
Takes out the emotion of the day to day and allows you to be more analytical
Allows you to decide what is truly important on a daily, weekly or long term basis
After you've decided to guide yourself and not let the social mirror guide you; you will need some sort of guidance and it's best to find that within yourslef
What Does It Mean?
Allowing your imagination of the future guide your actions in the present
Thinking about the end before you begin
Stoic Meditation on Death
This is the ultimate manifestation of beginning with the end in mind
Imagine yourself at your funeral; what do you want people to be saying about you?
Be Proactive
Circles of Concern and Influence
*Focus only on the things you can influence in order to be proactive
Influence is things you have control over and are within your influence
Concern is things you have no control over but are within your awareness
Proactivity Defined
Taking initiative means recognizing our responsability to make things happen
Response Ability
Human Beings are responsible for their own lives
Three Social Maps
*All of these paradigms only really work for animals and humans who believe them because humans have self awareness and the ability to choose
Environmental Determinism
Someone or something did it to you
Psychic Determinism
Parents did it to you
Genetic Determinism
Grandparents did it to you
Self Awareness is Human
Notice how you are not your feelings, moods or thoughts
That is something only available to humans
Self awareness is your ability to project yourself outside of a situation
The Social Mirror
They are more projections than reflections; people are showing you what they think of themselves when they tell you what they think of you
Viewing yourself based on the opinions, perceptions and paradigms of other people
Overview
Habits
The best way to break a habit is to change your paradigm
Once you've built a habit it can be very difficult to break
Habits either serve you or they don't serve you at this particular time
Things we dow without thinking because we've conditioned them
Emotional Bank Accounts
Forgiveness
Sincerely apologizing
Being loyal
Be clear and upfront
Making and keeping promises
Understanding Other People
Dependance vs Independence vs Interdependence
Paradigms
Paradigm shift is when how you see the world changes and therefore the world around you changes as well
How we believe (see) the world to work
Perception is not reality
The way we see things actually influences the way they are (Old lady vs Young Lady)
We often see things the way we see them and never question if they are true
Personality Ethic vs Character Ethic
Character Ethic
Gives you deep meaning and a moral compass to guide you
Things like integrity, humility, simplicity, fairness, modesty, love, courage, justice, and the Golden Rule.
Most of the classic personal development books focus on this
Personality Ethic
Can work for a short amount of time but often leads people to feeling meaningless
Things like public image, how you dress, how you perform in social interactions, positive mental attitude, skills and techniques to get people to behave in certain ways.
Most new school personal development books focus on this
