THE FOUR STEPS- wanting to have my car at school but I share it with my sister so my mom rather the car stays at the house to not be unfair
Step 4 - SELECTING SOLUTION WITH MAXIMUM GAIN
win win
or maximum gain
Not a win win but is maximum gain
My mom has to do little to no driving for us - Riley gets the car - and I will have more options for being picked up than if that car was at home
choose best solution
Give Riley the car since she lives furthest away
much more realistic snd will actually be able to purchase a parking spot at her school (Merrimack much less likely)
She has to pick me up on her way home and whenever I need her to (which is easy since my school is on the way home and closest to the rest of my gamily members)
Step 3 - BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS
no evaluating
no judging
collaboration
coming up with lots of potential solutions
leaving car at home so no one feels chosen over the other
Riley gets the car and picks me up when I need
I get the car due to the fact that Riley got the car last semester
I have the car but make sure to pick up my sister when she needs
Step 2- IDENTIFY NEEDS AND WANTS
self assertion - I statements instead of you statements
POSITIONS VS NEEDS
Needs - why they want that
emotions
why they do what they do
moms needs- wants to be fair. Doent want to drive around as often. Doesn't want to have to worry for our car safety and car troubles
my needs- want to come home more. Be able to escape when needed, see/ visit friends
position - what they want (outcome they want)
moms position -wants car at home
My position - wants car at Merrimack
step 1 - CONNECT TO THE HUMANITY (
curiosity, being calm
recognizing people are different
summarizing and paraphrasing
shows the other person that you understand
other person feels heard which disarms them
body language - eye contact
makes person feel more comfortable- shows that you are listening
ask questions
understand the other persons perspective (listen)
Riley is far from home, harder time and options for getting home than me. Has lots of reasons for needing the car and more things to drive for.
My mom docent want to have to do as much driving and worrying about rides. She also docent want to be unfair and wants to make sure both me and Riley are satisfied
EMPATHETIC LISTENING
